What you need to know about effective interpersonal communication - written and verbal!
When you’re having a disagreement with a loved one or want to bring something up that frustrates you, it’s best for you write it as “I,” as in “I feel upset/disappointed/hurt when...” rather than “You never/always do...” Also, when you feel your partner needs to step up or make changes, before it even gets to the point of saying “You need to do ____, or I will ____” as an ultimatum, it’s MOST powerful to frame what your needs, wants or boundaries it in the “I.” How to do this? You say “I need ____ in my life” such as “I need/want the kind of man in my life who...” or “It’s important to me to have _____.” When you frame it in the “I” during a heated or tense moment, it allows the person you’re speaking with to integrate what you’re saying without raising their defensive barricade up. When you say this matter of factly with a tone of self-assurance and self-respect, the person you’re speaking with has no option but to either consider it and either step up to the plate, or communicate to you they can’t do/offer this. Also, it’s always best for you to frame this in the positive, by saying “I want/need” rather than “I don’t want/I don’t need/I can’t have.” When you’re in the moment and it’s hard to remember this, just think Intention. What’s your intention in communicating this? If it’s to inspire constructive changes, recall saying “You” in anger only antagonises, while “I” empathises.
Frame whatever you want to sell as “YOU.” Such as, “You want to feel this way; You will receive an amazing product or service,” etc. Subconsciously, the reward centre of the brain switches on when you read “You,” and your brain switches off to an extent when you read “I.”
Not convinced? Try re-reading this entire blog again as if it had been written in first or third person. Doesn’t have the same effect, right?!
Effective written and verbal communication is a powerful tool you can use to improve both interpersonal and client engagement!
I’d love to know if you’ve used these or other tips and tools in your writing and general communication!